Want Someone To - てほしい

Meaning & Usage

The grammar pattern ～てほしい (te hoshii) is an essential N3 expression. It's used when the speaker wants another person or even a non-human entity to perform a specific action. It directly translates to phrases like "I want you to do X," "I'd like them to do Y," or "I wish that Z would happen."

This pattern differs significantly from other expressions of desire. For instance, you use just ほしい to express wanting an object (e.g., 「お金かねがほしい」 – I want money). And when you want to perform an action yourself, you use ～たい (e.g., 「日本にほんへ行いきたい」 – I want to go to Japan).

A distinguishing feature of ～てほしい is that the subject of the desired action is always someone other than the speaker. The speaker is expressing their internal wish or request for an external party to act. For example, if you say 「彼かれに宿題しゅくだいを手伝てつだってほしい」 (Kare ni shukudai wo tetsudatte hoshii), you are stating that you want him to help with your homework. The desire originates from you, but the action is to be performed by him.

The nuance of ～てほしい can vary depending on context and intonation. It can range from a polite request, a gentle suggestion, a strong personal desire, or even an implicit complaint or longing for something that hasn't happened. While it functions as a request, it's generally considered less direct and formal than imperative forms. More formal requests, such as ～てください (te kudasai) or ～ていただけますか (te itadakemasu ka), are preferred in specific situations. It reflects the speaker's internal feeling rather than a direct command. Therefore, it is commonly used among friends, family, or in situations where the speaker feels comfortable expressing their personal wishes. In very formal business settings, more humble or honorific expressions might be preferred.

A helpful way to think about ～てほしい is to imagine yourself as a play director. You're expressing how you want another actor to perform an action. You aren't performing the action yourself, nor are you merely wishing for a prop. Instead, you're wishing for someone else's action to take place. This pattern is essential for conveying personal desires that involve others' actions in everyday Japanese conversation.

Structure & Formation

Forming ～てほしい is simple: you primarily attach it to the て-form of verbs. It can also be used in negative and past tense forms.

Detailed Breakdown:

• Verbs: Conjugate the verb into its て-form and attach ほしい.

• Negative Form (～ないでほしい): To express a desire for someone not to do something, use the verb's negative て-form (ない-form + で), then attach ほしい.

Note that the particle 「に」 often marks the person you want to perform the action, though it can sometimes be omitted in casual speech if the context is clear.

Example Sentences

General Requests/Desires

Negative Desires

Past Desires (Something desired didn't happen)

More Nuanced Examples

Common Mistakes

Mistake 1: Confusing ～てほしい with ～たい or ～ほしい

Learners often mix up these similar-sounding expressions of desire.

❌ 私わたしは彼かれが来きたい。

✅ 私わたしは彼かれに来きてほしい。

Explanation: 「～たい」 expresses the speaker's desire to do an action themselves (I want to come). When you want someone else to perform an action, you must use 「～てほしい」. Similarly, 「ほしい」 alone expresses wanting a noun (an object), not an action by someone else.

Mistake 2: Incorrect te-form conjugation

Improperly conjugating the verb into its て-form before attaching ほしい.

❌ 本ほんを読よむてほしい。

✅ 本ほんを読よんでほしい。

Explanation: The verb 「読よむ」 (yomu) conjugates to 「読よんで」 (yonde) in the て-form. Always ensure your verb is correctly conjugated to the て-form before adding ほしい.

Mistake 3: Using を instead of に for the person performing the action

While 「が」 can be used for the desired subject's action in some cases (especially with passive verbs or natural phenomena), 「に」 is generally used to mark the person you want to do the action, or it's simply omitted.

❌ 私わたしは彼かれを助たすけてほしい。

✅ 私わたしは彼かれに助たすけてほしい。

Explanation: The particle 「に」 indicates the indirect object or the target of the action/desire. This makes it the correct particle to mark the person whose action you desire. While omitting 「に」 is common and natural in casual speech, using 「を」 would imply that you want him (the object), not that you want him to perform an action. This is not what is intended here.

Mistake 4: Using ～てほしい for direct orders or extremely formal requests

While expressing a desire, 「～てほしい」 isn't suitable for strict commands or highly formal business requests.

❌ (To a subordinate in a strict company) 今日中きょうじゅうに書類しょるいを提出ていしゅつしてほしい。

✅ (To a subordinate in a strict company) 今日中きょうじゅうに書類しょるいを提出ていしゅつしてください。

✅ (More polite/formal) 今日中きょうじゅうに書類しょるいをご提出ていしゅついただけますでしょうか。

Explanation: 「～てほしい」 expresses a personal desire. For direct instructions or formal requests, 「～てください」 (please do) or more polite forms involving humble/honorific verbs are appropriate.

Cultural Notes

In Japanese culture, direct expressions of desire, especially those involving other people's actions, can sometimes be perceived as strong or even demanding if not softened. While ～てほしい itself is less direct than an imperative, its usage still carries a personal expectation. To soften the request and make it sound more natural, especially with superiors, acquaintances, or in more formal contexts, native speakers often add softening phrases.

Common ways to soften ～てほしい include adding particles like 「な」 or 「んだけど」, or combining it with other expressions of thought:

• 「～てほしいな」: Adds a sense of longing or casualness, often an internal thought rather than a direct request.

• 「～てほしいんだけど」: This is a very common softening technique. By trailing off with 「んだけど」 (but...), it implies that there's more to be said or that the request is open for discussion, making it less imposing.

• 「～てほしいと思おもっています」: Explicitly states that it's just your thought or desire, making it less of a direct demand. This is often used when talking about broader hopes or wishes.

Remember, Japanese communication often values indirectness and harmony. While ～てほしい is a valid way to express a desire, always consider your relationship with the listener and the situation. It's perfectly natural and common among close friends and family. However, with others, adding a touch of politeness or softening can go a long way.

JLPT Tips

When you encounter ～てほしい on the JLPT N3 exam, focus on its main idea: the speaker wants someone ELSE to do something. This will help you distinguish it from similar grammar points that express the speaker's own desires.

Here are some important points to remember for the JLPT:

• Identify the subject of the action: Always ask yourself, "Who is performing the action?" If it's not the speaker, and the speaker is expressing a desire for that action, then ～てほしい is likely the correct pattern.
• Conjugation accuracy: Pay close attention to the te-form conjugation. Incorrect conjugation is a common trap. Review your て-forms for all verb groups (Group 1, 2, 3) thoroughly.
• Negative form: Remember the structure for the negative desire: Verb (ない-form) + で + ほしい. For example, 「行いかないでほしい」 (I want you not to go).
• Nuance in context: While the core meaning is straightforward, be aware that ～てほしい can sometimes imply a longing or a slight complaint, especially in past tense or when something hasn't happened as desired. For example, 「もっと早はやく来きてほしかった」 (I wanted you to come sooner – implying disappointment).
• Distinguish from choices: In multiple-choice questions, compare ～てほしい with ～たい and ～ほしい (for objects). If the sentence describes desiring an action by another person, ～てほしい is the answer.